Friday, July 24, 2009

What to write about

I have been wanting to update my blog for weeks and have even started a couple of blog posts. I haven't been sure what to write about....I have thought about writing about my birthing/postpartum experience. I am still processing so much of that that I fear that it would just come out sounding negative and scare people from having children;). A month and a half after bringing Chloe into the world I am in a different place, a VERY different place. Thank God!!! I feel so much gratitude for the sweet baby we have and though it is still hard at times, I am in love with her. I have thought about writing about Chloe's development and growth ( and will), but would like to write about things that I am thinking about, reading (if I ever do that again), watching, creating, observing in the world around me. We will see what actually ends up happening with this blog.

Today, I just want to say that the Lord is good. He has healed my body and heart in ways I haven't experienced in a long time over the last month. I have met Him as I have wrestled with anxiety, and questions about my worth as a mother. God has revealed so many performance issues that I have and has been so kind to put people who have given me grace around my life. The first week I was home I was in the throws of 'baby-blues', recovering from the c-section, and dealing with feeding issues (may blog about this later) the Lord spoke to me in a familiar passage.
Psalm 23.
1The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
2He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
3He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
4Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I ear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
6Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

The whole passage spoke to me, but the imagery of a table being prepared for me was so powerful. I began to think about what God has prepared on my table. They were things like freedom from condemnation, rest for my soul, grace, trust, the body of Christ. I am filled with such amazement that these things are available for me. My 'enemies' are mostly my own fears, and lies that I believe. This passage really helped me through those first few weeks. It is good for me to even write this now as a reminder of truth.

On Chloe...her 1 month check up was great. She was 9lbs. 9oz. 22 1/2 inches and did great with a shot. I want to post a 1 month picture soon, but need to find a time when she is alert enough to take a great picture. So say tuned...thanks for reading.


Jenni said...

Great to hear from you! Looking forward to hearing more about what you're learning and enjoying these days, and keeping up with the latest news on baby Chloe. Been praying for you!

Heather said...

This is a sweet post. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed the thoughts you shared on the Table God is laying out before you.
Love ya!

ps on a side note, I'm more rested & less grumpy than the last time we spoke. I'll call soon for a fun chat! Miss you!

Paprika said...

So happy to hear how God has refreshed your soul! Love you and can't wait to hang out soon.

Erin said...

thanks for sharing jenni! I promise to call soon...i've been thinking about you, this week just got away from me!

Dee Anne said...

I can't wait to read more about your heart and the journey God has you on. I'm so glad that we have blogs for even a small glimpse into the lives of people we miss!