Monday, September 05, 2005
Confusion and Disappointment
In the book, " The Safest Place on Earth", the author talks about turning our chairs inward and being a presence in peoples lives. There are many types of presence people can be to one another in a Biblical, healing community. A spiritual friend, mentor, discipler, spiritual director, etc... These are categories that we’ve talked about in class. We are all trying to learn about these things and at the same time we bring our own 'spiritual baggage' to the table. We have all had wonderful and sometimes horrific experiences in these types of relationships. It isn't easy to keep chairs turned in toward one another. There seems to a gravitational pull that pulls my chair back around so I can't see others any more. The safest place on earth suddenly feels like a battle for my soul and others. I have to hold on tight to truth in the midst of this force of gravity. Using this analogy of this fight against gravity (my flesh), of course I will experience confusion and disappointment. It is to be expected that I will encounter these things in any realm of caring for others. Crabb says that confusion and disappointment bring openness and hope. Hope no long becomes directed toward a person or object, but my loving Creator in whom my hope can rest securely on. That despair I feel when disappointed God uses for Glory. It reminds me of the book Ruth. In my greatest disappointments from people, life circumstances, my own expectations, God is writing a story that surpasses what I will see in this life time. I must remain in Him as I love people, and enter into their lives. I want to fight that gravitational pull of self that makes me want to turn my back on people rather than keep my chair facing others. I want to be open and hopeful as I approach God and others and let all of my disappointment and confusion leads me there.