Thursday, September 15, 2005
I have been feeling alone in ministry. I realized this after this great week of training we had at the start of school with student leaders. Our staff was unified and were working closely together. It was easy to get up in the morning knowing that I would be standing along side others who's passion for students equaled mine. That week came to an end and then I entered into the normal grind of collegiate ministry. We all are investing in different people and have different focuses and really only interact with one another twice a week. Our vision is the same, our passion hasn't changed, but working side by side with each other is gone. It has been difficult for me and really couldn't put my finger on all of this until last week. I've been doing this sort of thing for years and this is still a challenge. I'm not sure if it is singleness or if it is just a downfall of our view of doing ministry sort of independently. I really love those I work with, I just wish I could actually work with them outside of a 2 hour meeting time. I've felt the need to 'pay attention' to this alone in ministry feeling. I know all the spiritual answers about Christ being with me. I believe that, but Jesus didn't do ministry solo. I can't give you a better model than that. This has led me to re-thinking some about how I lead the women on staff. I know we are all 'busy', but perhaps we need to be doing more ministry together. That will be messy at times,inconvenient and won't take away feelings of discouragement and loneliness. It's worth experimenting with, I think.