Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Reflections on being sick
A couple of days ago I woke up feel a bit 'off'. My throat was sore and my body just felt a bit ache. I have a love hate relationship with sick days. When I thought I might be getting sick, the idea of a sick day sounded nice. The reality is that the sick day was hard for me. There is so much to do with wedding planning (I'm pretty sure I don't know what half of it is), students to be faithful with, dishes and clothes to wash, etc... I just wasn't sure quite what to do. I figured rest was part of it. I was reminded this week of Matthew 11. The message says, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me and watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Was my sick day an invitation to learn the unforced rhythms of grace?? I think probably so. What is disturbing about it for me is that I felt lazy, unproductive, etc... I wasn't taking the invitation at all for most of the day. Then I decided that I'd try and enter in. That I wouldn't see watching TV as a waste of time, but an opportunity to rest my mind from all the details that are flooding it right now. I must say that even as I was trying to enter in there was struggle. I felt bad for resting when it wasn't the normal 'resting time' (saturday or sunday). I want to be free from this mentality that I have. I could so easily blame the Christian ministry culture or the 40 hour a week culture we live in. Maybe those things influence me a little, but I know that tension I feel is mostly internal. Oh Lord, help me to learn the unforced rhythms of grace in all areas of my life.