Thursday, April 21, 2011

Embracing the waves

For as long as I can remember I have LOVED my hair. I loved the ease of it: pin-straight, not having to wash it for days. It was the thing I most consistently got complimented on. "You have beautiful hair", "You should be a hair model", "Can I touch/play with your hair". I Loved it: long, short and in between. It was straight and thick, like a smooth blanket. That was until about 2 years ago. I noticed a slight wave when I turned 30, but it was easily blown out with a hair dryer. Then the pregnancy hormones came and along with a beautiful little girl came wavy hair. I kept my hair short for the first year and just dried it and straightened it. It worked okay. I loved my long hair and the ease of it, so I decided to grow it longer. The waves took over. I have had to learn how to do my hair all over again. I am still not sure how to do it, how to have it cut, etc... Last night I had some free time and decided to straighten it and I realized that for the last 1 1/2 or more years I haven't quite felt like 'myself' with wavy hair. My self confidence has even gone down b/c people rarely compliment me anymore. Brent said he has really liked the wavy hair and it was strange to see me with straight hair (so sweet). I want to embrace the changes that come with seasons in life (even physical ones). Heck, pregnancy cured me of my IBS! I also want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to be able to be comfortable with both wavy and straight haired Jenni. It may seem trivial but this revelation has helped me understand a lot about why I don't feel pretty most days. I want my feelings of beauty to come from the inside more than anything. This is what I am wrestling with now.

3 comments:

Paprika said...

You're trying to embrace the waves, I'm trying to embrace the straight. :) I love what you said and can identify with your feelings. When I have moments of thinking clearly, it is just pretty amazing that God as arranged life so that we can never be in control. Even our body and image are in His hands. Sure love you and whatever kind of hair you have. :)

Gail said...

I agree 100% with Erika! Love you dearly and I think you wavy hair is gorgeous!

Mendy said...

i bet that once you have a chance to figure out this new head of hair, you will come to enjoy the bit of adventure that comes with a little curl! i really do like my hair as much as i fight with it.

i know what you mean about not really knowing yourself anymore and i don't think that's trivial at all! although my silly hair hasn't changed one bit, that is the same thought i've had as my body changes with age and i can't do things that are so much a part of who i know myself to be...like running. i don't know who i am if i'm not running.

a comment about your post a few weeks ago, about girlfriends...i remember when kirk and i got married i felt so lonely because i didn't have as many of those go-to-a-friend's-house-and-camp-out-on-the-couch-for-hours conversations as i was used to. i realized that poor kirk couldn't possibly be EVERYTHING and EVERYONE to me because no matter how well he loves me, i still need to know that my friends love me too or else it hurts inside. it was no failure on his part to love me, it was me realizing that there's just something that friends give you that can't be filled by anyone else.

sorry for the extremely long comment, but i just wanted to tell you that i can identify with what you write and it's nice to hear your voice in your blog! it would be so much more fun to have hair conversations in person sitting on a couch with a group of friends, wouldn't it??