Living in tension

Most of my life I've been connected. I grew up as a Campus Minister's child. My parents took me all over the world, I was able to see God change people's lives. I never resented or rebelled against this calling of my parents, I embraced it as my own. I chose to follow that path and spent 12 years investing in college students as my profession. As I furthered my education with a Master's of Spiritual Direction, I felt connected. I married (my seminary sweetheart) and we were passionate about engaging in people's stories and helping them move closer to Christ. The first two years of our marriage were a lot about that. It was wonderful being on staff at a small seminary, mentoring those that came our way. Now, Brent is a full-time pastor/dad and I stay at home (pastoring our kids). I'll be the first to tell you that being a stay at home parent, isn't my top choice. I believe in it, I enjoy it most days, but I love grown-ups. It's a tension I feel almost daily. Almost 6 years into parenting and I still feel the tension. It is hard to say what I'd want to change. I am satisfied, but longing. I'm thankful that God gives me an open and flexible schedule to be available to others. I'm open to God. Wanting Him to be the one that fills and guides the longings (He knows them better than I do).