Saturday, May 02, 2015

Like a Boomerang...

These last two weeks most of our family have been coughing, feverish and 'needy' in some way or another. There have been moments where I needed to step up and serve differently, because Brent was quarantined to the bedroom. Sleepless nights taking the temperature of a sickly babe. All of that is mildly annoying, and yet I mostly had a good attitude about those things. Then I became the sickly one. Feverish, coughing, generally miserable. My attitude went downhill. I became grumpy with my husband, who wanted nothing but to serve our family well. It is in these moments when I realize the harder thing for me is being served. This struggle comes at me like a boomerang. It is out of my sights for a moment then comes at my face and I want to duck for cover. NOT THIS AGAIN! I know that this will be one of the great struggles of my life. Accepting help, receiving, saying thank you and having nothing to offer in return. I felt I had come so far in this area and yet this week I was reminded again that I need Jesus to meet me back in this familiar place. Growing up in a ministry home and then diving into ministry myself it just feels less comfortable to be served, dare I say, less spiritual. Yet, that's the lie for me. Service doesn't equal spirituality. Letting my husband bring me kleenex and cough syrup requires me to lay down my pride, my ability to 'do it all'.  It reminds me of my need for Jesus.

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